Has it really been a month and a half since I've posted on this blog? Is my Elsie really going to be 3 months old on Saturday? (I'm also asking myself if my Clare is really 5 as of last week, and if my Grant is really going to turn 2 in less than a month.) But aside from how time is flying, I really am enjoying being a mom. I thought it might be interesting to someone (maybe another mom/family who is considering adoption?) to know some of the thoughts that have gone through my mind in the last couple of months.
The first thing I am about to share is difficult for me to put on paper for you all to read. My pride wants to jump out in front and shout, "Everything is fine! Life has been perfect with my adjustment to an adopted child." But in reality, I have had some mental struggles. In my past experiences as a "new mom" things have taken place quite differently. I have had 9 months (well, 8 once we know for sure we're expecting) to plan, process, and anticipate a new baby. I've carried the baby inside my growing belly and had a chance to get to know him or her. I've felt them kick, roll around and hiccup before I even saw their faces. I've endured those labor pains and that wonderful moment when you hold a seconds old baby in your arms. Those pieces of my "Elsie puzzle" are missing. I knew about Elsie only 2 weeks before she joined this world, and didn't hold her until she was 4 days old. When I arrived home with this new baby, we had just met. I needed to get to know her.
How does one "get to know" a baby? Since they cannot answer your many questions, you have to watch and observe. It takes a little longer this way. I have learned many things about Elsie in 3 months, but I worry at times because I know it is just a fraction of what I need to know. Here's where I must rest: God provided this precious baby to our family, and He will provide the answers we need in His timing.
As I have time, I plan to record a few more of my crazy musings. As I have time........
