Life Before Adoption

As I said in my last post, I have so many questions. Every day I wonder what our new children are doing. What are they learning in school? What will they have for lunch or dinner? Have they been told that they have a family coming to adopt them yet? Are they even a little excited about that or too scared of the unknown to be excited?

I found this blog post, written by an adoptive mama, that might help us as we prepare to go get our children. Every child is different, and has different experiences, but I enjoyed reading this (through tears mind you!). I wanted to share with any of you who are curious about the children waiting to be adopted. This is what life is like for some of them.

Here's an excerpt from the article. Follow this link to read in its entirety.
Seriously Blessed: Thoughts on Adoption (Our Older Girls)

What did you think when you first met your mom and dad?

Jasmine – Daddy is so tall and mama has curly, yellow hair.  Mama is so pretty.  I had never seen American people.  Mama and daddy were so nice.  They acted like they cared about me.  They let me pick what I wanted to eat.  I had KFC and Coke.  I couldn’t believe they let me pick my food.  They let me have two glasses of pop.  I wonder why they be so good to me?

It was so funny to be hugged.  I don’t know what a hug is.  Mama took my arms and put them around her.  I really, really liked to be hugged but it was weird at first.   Mama and daddy said over and over again, “WoAiNi”.  In China you only say, “I love you” if you are dating or married, but mama and daddy say it over and over again. Mama and daddy seem so happy to be with me.  I can hardly believe it.

Happy Birthday Half Way Around the World!

Today you turn 9. Well, actually you already did. Since we're on the other side of the globe, January 29th has already come and gone for you. I wonder how you got to celebrate? Did you have a little party at the orphanage? How many people remembered to wish you a happy birthday? Are you glad that you get to share your birthday with Chinese New Year celebrations? So many questions I want to ask you, but they will have to wait. We pray that by your next birthday, you'll be safe and sound here with your new forever family. We'll make you a cake, and sing you a song. But most of all, I can't wait to give you a great big birthday hug!

Personality

Each day as I watch my current children, I notice things about them that make up their personality. Grant pays so much attention to every detail and has the cleanest room of all my children. Miranda is diligent and reliable, making sure all of her to-do boxes are checked each day. Elsie is observant, watching the movement of everyone in our family and jumping in to help without even being asked. Clare turns everything into an art project, decorating things as big as her bedroom, and as small as her bar graph in Math. Gwynneth, we are discovering, likes routine and consistency like her mama!

As I notice these traits that make up my current children, it makes me wonder what my new children will be like. Being 8 and 10 already, no doubt they will have developed a personality all their own. I cannot wait to spend some time with them and learn about them. Travel time can’t come soon enough for me!

Where We Are Now

It has been a while since we updated the blog with our progress in the adoption, so I just wanted to quickly do that today. With our home study finished, our next step is to get permission from the United States to adopt. Our application has been received and we are waiting to get our biometric fingerprinting done in a few days (these can only be done at a certain place and by mailed invitation). Once that is complete we wait a couple of weeks for our approval to arrive in the mail.

On the heels of U.S approval comes our next really big step--sending our dossier to China. All the paperwork we've assembled over the last few months gets put into a file and sent to the China Center for Children's Welfare and Adoption. This doesn't mean our work here is done, but it is certainly a milestone in the adoption process. At this point, we are told we may experience our longest wait while the dossier is logged in, translated, reviewed, and hopefully approved.

We are depending on the Lord as we wait, knowing that He will bring about the details of the adoption in His timing. At the same time our excitement levels are rising because the wait time to meet our new children is only a few months!

Thanks for following along and being part of our journey!

The Hope of Adoption

Have you ever dreamed of moving to a new city, state or country? I have, but I have never dreamed of doing that without any choice as to where I’d go or who I’d live with. I doubt many of your dreams include those uncertainties either.

That scenario has been on my mind lately; not because I want to move, but that is what our 8 year old son and a 10 year old daughter will do.

My future children are living in a country that they have known their entire lives, and speaking a language they have heard from birth. Their perceived comfort and love are the people and routines they consider normal. They know what society (whether good or bad) expects from them. Don’t we as humans find great comfort in consistency of the daily routines of life?

I am sure as they learn about their new family, they will have fear and anxiety about this adoption. It is likely that if they were given a choice, they would rather stay in the comfort of the known than to be adopted into a family of unknown. This is what makes this adoption hard.

Cindy and I have no illusions of arriving in China and having our son and daughter throw their arms around us and tell us that they love us. We don’t think they will be overjoyed by the idea of being adopted. No. Most likely, we will arrive to see them crying, full of fear. They will probably have to be pushed in our direction and might turn to a social worker or government official and cling to their arms and not ours. It will take weeks and months to build trust with our newest children. There will be plenty of crying, sleepless nights and moments of doubt throughout this process, both for them and for us.

We do not need them to understand just yet why we have adopted them. This may take years. We expect this be hard work, but to love is always hard work. This is something that Cindy and I are honored and joyful to do because we firmly believe in and serve a God who has done the same for us.

Adoption is woven throughout the story of redemption in scripture. Throughout history, God’s adopted children have over and over again wanted to return to a perceived comfort of the known instead of trusting Him as loving Father (Think Israelites. When hardship came, they wished they were still slaves in Egypt rather than facing the trials of the wilderness.) Lovingly, God continually reminds His children that He will never leave them.

That is our goal. No matter how hard this adoption is for us or our children, we want them to know that there is nothing they can do that will change our love for them. They might never accept us as parents, but our love as parents will never stop. Showing the unconditional love of our Father is our greatest desire. We pray for the strength to do this very thing.

So, come what may, joy, happiness, hurt or pain. We will always love them because He has taught us He has always loved us.