Kids, Kids, and More Kids!

Yes, we're one big happy family! Elsie might be sleeping in this picture, but she has been showing us her eyes much more these last few days. In 1.5 weeks, she has put on 1.5 pounds (making her a whopping 7 lbs. 2 oz.)! At 2 weeks, 3 days old, she is still smaller than all three of the other kids were when they were born. She is sleeping and eating very well, and even lays on the floor during her awake times and stares at her baby gym.

Most people ask, "How are the other kids adjusting?" The answer to that is better than we expected. Miranda and Clare are all about being mommies. They love to feed and hold her (but for some reason the real mommy has to change her diapers). They also run and get things for me when I'm in the middle of changing her or busy doing something else. They are training very well to be grown-up moms. Grant is such a sweetheart with her. He has been very tender with her, and gives her kisses constantly. He's actually kind of possessive of her. When the two of them are awake at the same time, he usually wants to be sitting right next to her. He's even able to get her name out at 21 months of age--he calls her "Bebe Ya-si".

Mom and Dad are doing fine also. Other than lack of sleep, life really hasn't changed that much. Oh, and an extra pile of laundry. Oh, and buying expensive newborn diapers since she can't quite fit into size 1 yet. Oh, and a few extra doctor visits. Oh, and having to take more pictures. Oh, and having to be careful when the dog is out of her cage. Ok, so maybe things have changed a little, but it's all for the better! We are loving our life with 4 kids!

Thoughts and Emotions

Well, I intended to update before now, but we came home to 2 sick kids. Clare and Grant have had fevers and a nasty cough, and of course frequent baby feedings cut down on the amount of free time mommy has! But Elsie is adjusting very well into our family and I had to wake her for her feedings and medication last night! Tomorrow, I take her to the doctor for her 1 week check-up and the social worker comes for her 1st post-placement visit. Everything is moving along quite nicely.

When I posted last Thursday that this baby posed a "new" set of circumstances, I had no idea. I think if posed with the choice, that I would choose to endure the pain of labor and delivery rather than 5 days of "the unknown". In labor, at least I know that I have another contraction coming, then a few seconds of rest. In this situation, NOTHING was certain. Jason and I were amazed at the fact that we walked into the hospital on Tuesday at 3:30, not knowing if we would leave with a baby or empty-handed. We are grateful that when we left at 6:30, Elsie left with us.

Meeting with our birthmother, as one would expect, started out a little awkward. She had just signed her surrender paperwork, so she was very teary-eyed. I had not yet seen Elsie, so I was anxious...and teary-eyed. Jason expressed after we left how broken-hearted he felt for the birthmother. She truly did love this child and had a really hard time letting her go. But after a few minutes of hesitant conversation, we actually began to get to know our birthmother and her life situation. We shared how our children were ecstatic about a "new brother or sister". We exchanged email addresses and phone numbers so we can keep in touch. She plans to send a collage photo book to the agency with pictures of her, her 2 year old daughter/Elsie's half sister, and Elsie's first days in the hospital. We are grateful to be able to answer some questions that Elsie will have when she gets older.

One final emotion that I have to say I was not expecting--it took me a couple of hours after leaving the hospital for me to feel like Elsie's mother, rather than her babysitter. However, a couple hours into the trip, sitting in the back seat beside her, holding her bottle, I felt that connection. This was MY little girl. I was responsible for her. She could not feed or change herself, she needed me--her mom. Now I have to say, I really feel no difference between Elsie or any of my other children. It is all-out AMAZING!

Elsie Is Home

Just wanted to update everyone and let you know that Elsie spent her first night in her new home last night. She didn't sleep much, but I'm sure she'll get used to it. Things went very smoothly at the hospital yesterday: the birthmom signed her paperwork, we met with her for a little while, we signed our paperwork, then we made the 4 hour trip home.

God is good. We will update again later...after my nap.

Faith?

You know those cartoons where someone ties a string to a carrot and dangles it in front of the rabbit's nose? Every time the rabbit gets close, the carrot moves. Right now, we feel like that rabbit. Every time we think we're about to get near our little girl, our 'meeting' gets pushed off a little longer. So we must keep asking ourselves--are we putting our faith in God...or in this adoption? As emotionally difficult as the results may be, we want the first statement to be true. Our faith is in God, and in His sovereign plan for our family.

So tomorrow afternoon at 4:00, we will find out His plan. We are scheduled to meet our social worker and our birthmom in the hospital waiting room. (The birthmom and social worker are meeting elsewhere at 3:00 to sign the 'surrender' paperwork.) Our birthmom has requested that she gets to personally hand our little girl over to us. Then we'll have the hospital discharge paperwork to sign, and this part of the adoption will be complete. We'll be free to take Elsie home.

Please pray with us that we will completely surrender to God's plan, and that what is best for this baby will be done.

Elsie Faith

We promised a picture, so here is the best we have. The birthmom was kind enough to take this picture and pass it along to our social worker, who then sent it to us. The adoption plan is still in progress, though the circumstances are a little different than we planned. The birthmother has decided she prefers to meet us the day she is leaving the hospital, which should be Monday (the 8th). This will be the first time we'll see our baby girl. It seems that "openness" is actually tougher for her right now, so we may only have this one chance to meet and get to know her a little.
As long as the birthmom goes home on Monday, we should still be able to take our sweetheart home on Tuesday. It seems like each minute lasts an hour, so we are trying to stay busy and pass the time away. We're also looking forward to going shopping for a baby girl outfit tomorrow!

On Our Way

Well, we dropped off the kids (thanks Krista, Ron & Becky) and the dog (thanks Chad & Amy), and we’re headed to Cleveland. I guess by the time I actually post this, we’ll be in Cleveland. I have to admit that some anxiety has set in about the events of the next few days, but we know that God is in control. The baby is coming Friday (March 5th), and won’t be able to leave the hospital until Tuesday. So this time on Tuesday, we may be making our return trip back home with our new girl or boy. It really seems that I should be on the way to the hospital with a big belly and an aching back, but this time around things are different. We have the car seat and a diaper bag, and we’re headed to a bed & breakfast. Instead of physical labor pains, we’re waiting out “the unknown”. So please pray for us, and keep checking back for updates from our journey!