Well, I intended to update before now, but we came home to 2 sick kids. Clare and Grant have had fevers and a nasty cough, and of course frequent baby feedings cut down on the amount of free time mommy has! But Elsie is adjusting very well into our family and I had to wake her for her feedings and medication last night! Tomorrow, I take her to the doctor for her 1 week check-up and the social worker comes for her 1st post-placement visit. Everything is moving along quite nicely.
When I posted last Thursday that this baby posed a "new" set of circumstances, I had no idea. I think if posed with the choice, that I would choose to endure the pain of labor and delivery rather than 5 days of "the unknown". In labor, at least I know that I have another contraction coming, then a few seconds of rest. In this situation, NOTHING was certain. Jason and I were amazed at the fact that we walked into the hospital on Tuesday at 3:30, not knowing if we would leave with a baby or empty-handed. We are grateful that when we left at 6:30, Elsie left with us.
Meeting with our birthmother, as one would expect, started out a little awkward. She had just signed her surrender paperwork, so she was very teary-eyed. I had not yet seen Elsie, so I was anxious...and teary-eyed. Jason expressed after we left how broken-hearted he felt for the birthmother. She truly did love this child and had a really hard time letting her go. But after a few minutes of hesitant conversation, we actually began to get to know our birthmother and her life situation. We shared how our children were ecstatic about a "new brother or sister". We exchanged email addresses and phone numbers so we can keep in touch. She plans to send a collage photo book to the agency with pictures of her, her 2 year old daughter/Elsie's half sister, and Elsie's first days in the hospital. We are grateful to be able to answer some questions that Elsie will have when she gets older.
One final emotion that I have to say I was not expecting--it took me a couple of hours after leaving the hospital for me to feel like Elsie's mother, rather than her babysitter. However, a couple hours into the trip, sitting in the back seat beside her, holding her bottle, I felt that connection. This was MY little girl. I was responsible for her. She could not feed or change herself, she needed me--her mom. Now I have to say, I really feel no difference between Elsie or any of my other children. It is all-out AMAZING!
That is awesome. It is so amazing how adopting a child can change everything about your life. I too am amazed, even now, how much I sometimes hurt for my boys birth mothers. It really hits during those special moments, like birthdays and major accomplishments. It doesn't stop even after 10 yrs. It is kind of ironic how you are experiencing the adoption part of it for the first time, and I am experiencing the birth child part of it. We wish you guys the very best, and hope you enjoy every moment of it.
ReplyDeleteDonna