Family of 9

Though we haven't been very active on the blog lately, we have not been sitting still! Trips to buy groceries. Trips to church. Trips to the doctor. Trips to the library. A trip to Kenwood Mall to make Eleanor happy--red bean milk tea (they even have a menu in Chinese)! And last week, we finally made it to Jungle Jim's International Market. We are so grateful to have this right around the corner. Both kids were able to find some things they recognized and are enjoying very much.

We've also been working on getting the kids outside for sunshine and exercise. Having one who lived in an orphanage and one living in a very populated city, I don't think either of the kids were used to spending time outside for recreation. If you happened to drive by, you might find us outside bumping a volleyball or shooting baskets. We also love to sit on the porch swing. 

With school in full swing, relaxing on the porch doesn't come as often now. We're inside hammering our flashcards, copying English words, and playing ESL games on the computer. 

Your prayers are still very much appreciated as we navigate this busy life. Each of us has different things we are working through, and are grateful for the Lord teaching us through them.

Summary of the Adoption Process

I ran across this blog post this morning and it is SO GOOD. Good for everyone. Good for those of us in the middle of things right now, good for others who want to know more about what we are going through, and good for Christians everywhere to be reminded of the truths in the last few paragraphs.

Keep in mind, as the author says, that every adoption and every family is different. We're fluctuating between stages 1 and 2, and though we haven't had too much of the "hysterics," we have seen enough to relate and understand. And probably more is still to come.

Below is a quote, and here is the link for the entire article. The author communicates things better than I could, or even have time for.

"Is adoption easy? No it is not. Is this simple? Nope. Complicated and long-term. Will bonding be immediate and seamless? Maybe, but probably not. Will you struggle with guilt and fear that first year? Yes, but you shouldn’t. You’ve agreed to partner with God in some difficult, heart-wrenching work, and it’s no kum-by-yah party. Give grace to yourself; God already has.

Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting through, and adoption is one of them. I can hardly think of something closer to God’s character, who is the “Father to the fatherless, defender of widows — this is God, whose dwelling is holy.” Certainly, we are his difficult children who spaz out and pull away and manipulate and struggle. We distrust His good love and sabotage our blessings, imagining our shame disqualifies us or that God couldn’t possibly be faithful to such orphans.

But He is. We are loved with an everlasting love, and it is enough to overwhelm our own fear and shame and humanity."

The Truth About Adoption: One Year Later  

by Jen Hatmaker

Little Blessings

These last 2 weeks have been tough on us. There have been both smiles and tears, understanding and confusion, hope and helplessness. But tonight something happened that was the Lord giving us, his children, a special blessing. I want to relay a silly, frivolous, wonderful, compassionate story of God's goodness.

Since we arrived in Guangzhou, and found the teeny hole-in-the-wall called Walmart, we've made several trips there with one purpose in mind: to let Eleanor play the claw arcade game. You know the one where you use a metal claw to grab stuffed animals, only to have the claw jerk so hard it knocks the animal out of its grasp before making it to the exit chute. In the U.S. we never play these because they are ridiculously expensive and virtually no chance of winning. Here, they cost 1 yuan, which is about 17 cents USD. And still virtually no chance of winning. But they are fun and put smiles on kids' faces.

A couple nights ago, Jason played the game, trying to win a stuffed Minnie Mouse for Eleanor. He picked it up and carried it to the chute. She got really excited and jumped up and down. It hit the side and bounced out. "Oh no!" she said with a sad face. 

We knew we had one more trip to Walmart to get snacks for our trip home. This morning, as silly as it was, I prayed that the Lord might let Jason win a silly stuffed animal for her to take home, but more importantly for the memory that it would bring each time she looked at it. This evening, God did just that. Of course, she was bouncing off the walls with happiness and giving this little animal gigantic bear hugs. I was fighting back tears because the Lord was reminding me He is still in control. 

We encountered things here in Guangzhou that we were not expecting. Things we would argue we were not ready for. But God is always prepared. Sometimes we just need little reminders. See you all soon!

Adoptions are final--we are family!

Here we are standing on American soil!
At the Consulate of the United States of America in Guangzhou.

So today was the last step in making our adoptions final. As of today, we are a family of 9. We are ready to jump on a plane home, but we have to wait 48 hours for the kids' visas to be printed and inserted into their Chinese passports. They are traveling on Chinese passports, but will become US citizens once we arrive in Dallas and go through immigration Friday evening. 

We are looking forward to getting home and getting the kids settled into a new routine. I'm sure we will have a lot to figure out and adjust to over the next few months, so we're eager to get started.  We'll see you all soon!

Day 14

It has been a while since our last update. We know this. We have needed some time to process. We had quite a lot of information about our daughter, making it easier to prepare our minds for adding her to the family. She has grown up in a family environment and knows what it's like to bond and love. She was also well prepared for adoption by her foster family. Things went about as smoothly as an international adoption can go. At least so far.

However, we had very little information about our son. He is 9, has lived in an orphanage his entire life, and was called a "healthy child" by the caretakers. That was about the extent of information we had until we met him on Monday. Though our adoption training prepared us well for the unexpected, experiencing things in real life has still thrown us off a bit. We have some unanticipated challenges to face with our little guy. Challenges that we don't fully understand ourselves yet, so it is hard to communicate to anyone else. 

Both Jason and I need your prayers as we assess and figure things out. Being away from home and our 5 other children for 14 days is wearing on us. Trying to parent 2 new children through a language barrier, who don't fully trust us yet, is tiring. Being in uncomfortable surroundings and eating unfamiliar food adds to our stress, but also gives us a taste of what our new children will feel when they arrive home in the US. 

Playing Hot Wheels

We are trying to lean on Christ who gives us strength. We are asking for wisdom, and we know He will give it. More updates coming when we are able! Here's a few pictures from the last several days.

In the garden at our hotel

Ever had a Japanese noodle salad?

The entrance to Wal-Mart. We thought the cab driver
 had dropped us off in the wrong place. Nope. There
really is a Wal-Mart in the basement of these apartments!

Uno has been a life-saver in the hotel!

Day 1

Today has been everything I expected, and nothing I expected all at the same time. I expected crazy, and it has been that! Our poor guide, who was supposed to meet us in the hotel lobby at 9, had to send the van driver (who does not speak English) without her. Her metro broke down and they evacuated everyone. We had to pick her up on the way to meet Ping Lei, which made us about 20 minutes late for our appointment. Then papers were flying. "Sign here with tomorrow's date." "No, this one is supposed to be today's date." "Don't forget year-month-day!" Finally, they stacked up all the papers and brought our daughter in. Since we were late, she had been waiting longer than usual in the room next door while we signed papers.

I expected her to be quiet, shy, and reluctant to meet us. Instead, she rushed over and gave us both big hugs. She couldn't wait to empty her back pack and show us all her favorite things. Since then, we've learned that she is very street-smart (which is a very good thing in China), electronically savvy (she knows her way around China's equivalent of youtube AND already figured out the password on Jason's phone by observation), and eager to go swimming (this is great bonding time for us).

Here's our first picture together, just after meeting one another this morning. Things are busy here, so we will update as we get the opportunity. Thank you for your prayers. Don't stop! This is just the beginning.

Here we go!

Credit goes to Elsie for the artwork today. We are all aware, if not fascinated, that our family is going to expand in the coming weeks. There's nothing but excitement here about that part!

However, there is some sadness in our house today. We all know that this is our last day together before Mom and Dad get on a plane and leave our 5 current children here. As I'm sure you can imagine, this is really hard on the momma! Prayers are appreciated now, and throughout the entire trip.

Next time we update will hopefully be from Shanghai, China!

9 Days...The Countdown has begun!

We received our final confirmations yesterday and booked our flights! We're headed to China on July 1st. I have begun packing and will gradually add to it over the next week to get us ready for our early morning flight. The waiting is almost over!

I thought I would give you a few details so you'll know what we are experiencing. We'll try to post pictures, but access to facebook and the blog may be limited. First, we'll meet our daughter on Monday, July 2nd. We will  have the rest of the week to spend with her, while taking care of the proper paperwork to finalize the adoption in the eyes of China. Our agency also arranges for us to see some things in Shanghai (east coast of the map), where she has spent her entire life. Then we will fly to Guangdong Province (south).

On Monday, July 9th, we will meet our son and repeat the process of the week before. We are being careful not to develop expectations. Bringing 2 children who do not know each other into a family where neither of them know the parents is a situation without many absolutes. The one absolute (though they may not know it) is that we will love and care for them no matter what.

Week 3 keeps us in Guangzhou, Guangdong Province, the city of the United States Consulate. During this week, both of our children must go through medical appointments before all 4 of us attend the appointment at the Consulate. It is at this meeting where our daughter will be asked whether or not she wishes to be adopted by us. Because he is younger, our son will not be given the same choice. Assuming all goes well, we should leave the Consulate as family in the eyes of the United States. We remain in China for a couple more days while the childrens' visas are being printed, then we board a plane for home.

As always, thanks for reading along. We'll be in touch!

Another Orphan Has a Home!

Today, as we sit here waiting for our TA (travel approval), I am so excited for our local friends who are on a plane to China right now! They have been in the adoption process longer than we have, so I know they are glad to finally be traveling to pick up their son. Knowing how much we will appreciate your prayers, I wanted to share their story so you can join us in praying for them. We've enjoyed making a few new friends as a result of this adoption!

As for us, we're almost there! We should be able to announce our travel dates within a week.

Here's the link for the video.
The Young Family is Adopting from China!
Enjoy!!!

Trying to learn the 'Unknown'

We've posted before about the many questions we have, both about the process of this adoption and about the children involved. We've found that our curiosity is also sometimes your curiosity. You'll ask us some of the same questions we wonder about on a daily basis. I ran across the following article which opens one tiny window into what adoption can be like for the child. Below is an excerpt, and here is the link if you'd like to read the entire post. Why adoption means no spoons and sitting in the dark....

"The other night, I was sitting in the living room reading and I heard him start crying and calling my name. “Mommy”, he cried.  I went into his room and he cried for a glass of water and I gave him a drink and lay by him until he went back to sleep. This moment was so big in his little world. When we first brought him home, he cried silently in the dark. I would hear his quiet sobs from the living room and I wondered how many nights in the orphanage he cried silently, alone. It wasn’t until recently that he has started to call out. It wasn’t until recently, that he realized that when he calls out from the dark place, he has a family that will come. A mommy and daddy that will fight the monsters with him. He has a family that will sit in the dark with him as the pain is expressed and eventually healed to be replaced by scars."

Is it packing time already?

Well, probably not, but I can't help setting aside certain things we know we will need on our trip. It is recommended that we pack melatonin since we'll be on a completely opposite day/night schedule. We're also encouraged to begin now eating (or taking) a probiotic every day to make our insides as strong as they can be before encountering so many new things. I'm also thinking ahead to our daughter's needs with sunscreen, sunglasses, hats, etc. Her albinism causes sensitivity to sun and bright light. And as far as we know they will come to us with only what they're wearing.

Do you know how difficult it is to guess what size clothing a child wears just from a picture? That's what I am attempting to do. The fact that I have a few children already helps by giving me reference points--Our new son is definitely smaller than Grant, so I'm guess he wears 7/8. I'll pack a few 5/6 and 10/12 things just in case I guessed wrong. I'm assuming our new daughter will be about the same size as Clare. I'm pretty confident that she will wear 10/12, but I'll pack a few things on either side. And we'll be in larger cities in China, which means I'll be able to find clothing stores there to supplement what I take.

So yes, I can't help making a pile of things I'll be taking with us, though I haven't put anything in a suitcase yet. I'm consulting packing lists from previous travelers to make sure I am prepared. We are still on track to travel in the next 4 to 6 weeks so we're getting pretty excited!

Time for an update!

Though we still aren't close enough to set a definite travel date yet, so much has happened over the last few weeks since our "Waiting" post. I thought you guys might like to hear about our progress.

First, school is a much lighter load right now. 3 out of 4 children are finished, and the 4th should finish in less than a week! We are ALL excited about this. Of course, wouldn't you know that only a week or two into summer break I'm already hearing, "I'm bored." They had better watch out--I'll be handing them a cleaning rag!

I've also been able to add a few more things to the freezer to use as meals when we get home from China. I enjoyed working with these helpers to add a few lasagnas to our list.

Yesterday, we received our passports back from the Chinese Consulate in Chicago with the visa stickers attached. We are now legal to enter China, although we have a few steps left before we can purchase plane tickets.

Jason's dad found us bunk beds for the boys' room. We're looking forward to getting those set up and setting aside room in the closet for a 2nd set of clothes.

Last night at 9:00pm, we officially "met" our son on a video call. It all became very real to me last night. I have a son in China, whose favorite colors are yellow and blue, and every second of waiting is now torture! We are trying to arrange a video call with our daughter as well, but still haven't heard back from the orphanage. We are praying for this same chance to "meet" her as well.

So now what? We are waiting for the Department of Homeland Security to give provisional approval for our children's visas. According to average wait times, we should have had that yesterday. I called and found out it will be a couple more days. Though every wait feels like forever, we're still on track to travel end of June or early July.

Since things begin happening more quickly near the end of the adoption, I'm sure we'll update more often. Thanks for following along!

Our God is Amazing!

Well, it has been a little over two weeks since our last post, and God has been doing great things for us. He has shown over and over that He cares for His children, and He will provide in His time and in His way. Let me tell you about the past few weeks.

At work, a salesman that I had never met visited my office. Noticing a few pictures in my office, he inquired about our family and our adoption story. He called later that day giving me information about a grant his church offers to adoptive families. We are waiting to hear back from them, but we are grateful to the Lord and Montgomery Community Church for the chance to be considered for this grant.

Around the same time, my friend Stacey introduced me to her sister-in-law Christie. Christie and her friend Nicole, both adoptive parents themselves, were looking for a family in the process of adopting to sponsor through their businesses. Christie runs www.featherrefuge.com, and Nicole is a part of www.noondaycollection.com. Through this I was able to share our adoption story and meet more people involved in orphan care. The Lord provided encouragement for us through our contact with these ladies, and we appreciate the time they spent to help us out.

Yesterday, I was sitting in my company's budget meeting my phone alerted me to an email at 8:47. I glanced at my phone and noticed that it was an email from our fundraising partner AdoptTogether. I opened the email, and just stared. It was an anonymous donation for $11,000. Sitting here typing this I am simply blown away at God's goodness to my family. We certainly don't deserve that goodness, but are determined to honor Him because of it. To our "anonymous" donor, I prayed this morning that God would bless you for your kindness and generosity. This donation along with what we have been given previously brings our fundraising total to $24,000. This means that at least half of our total adoption expenses will be covered by support from all of you!

Lastly, after 43 days, we received today our final approval from China for our two children. Our original LOA documents are on their way from China to the U.S right now. This is a MAJOR step in the process, and as Lisa from our agency said today, "Things will really start to pick up now!" We have a few more steps in the process before we can schedule flights to China, but the longest wait should be over. We're hoping to travel late June or early July.

Waiting. In the meantime....

We haven't updated in a while simply because it would seem that there's not much to tell. Our dossier is logged in, and we can only sit and wait for a letter from China that gives us final approval to adopt our children. We are on day 25 of this wait for LOA (our confirmation letter). This wait is currently ranging from 35-60 days, so we're hoping to hear something soon!

Though we are waiting, we are still busy preparing our lives for this adoption. As much as we focus on the visible steps of getting through paperwork and various milestones, there are several things an expecting family can do in their 'down time.' Here's what we're working on--trust me, the busier I am, the less time I have to spend wishing we were headed to China already!

Reading. Both Jason and I have spent time reading (or listening to) others' experiences related to adoption. Though we know every adoption and every child is different, we know there are things we can learn from those who have already done it. Our soon-to-be-children being older provides us with even more to learn. We are trying to understand the affects of institutionalization. We are researching albinism and how to protect our daughter with her skin sensitivity, as well as devices to help her eyesight once she is seen by an optometrist. We also genuinely want to learn about the Chinese history and culture since this is part of the heritage we will pass on to our kids. Along the same lines, I'd love to help my new children retain their current language as they begin to learn English. For this reason, as well as the ability to communicate with them initially, I am putting as many Mandarin words into this old brain as I can fit!

Saving. Our entire family is still on a mission to save every penny possible. Our needs are being met, but we have been amazed at how many things we just don't NEED (that we used to think we did).

School. With homeschooling comes flexibility. During a normal school year, we take advantage of that. If we miss science on Monday, we just make it up later in the week. Since October, we have been pretty strict with our schooling. Most of the kids have worked ahead a bit on the weekends and will be finishing by end of April or early May. This is more important for Mom than the kids though. School takes up a huge chunk of my day. Without that to worry about, I can accomplish several other things like.....

Spring Cleaning. (Jason is calling this nesting.) Deep cleaning never happens during the school year around here. Simply not enough time. So I grit my teeth and endure until school is out, then I go cleaning crazy! This time, there are other factors though. Clean out enough closet space in Clare's room so her new sister will have some. Go through the storage bins downstairs and determine what clothes Grant can pass down to his new brother, and what things we'll need to purchase. (Or maybe my guesstimate on his sizes will be way off and they will actually be in the same size clothing...we'll find that out in a month or two!) Jason is watching craigslist or yard sale listings for a set of bunk/twin beds since we'll need to get rid of Grant's full size bed. Another thing to figure out is how we're going to arrange the school room--find a couple more desks or switch to tables. Yep. So much to think about in addition to cleaning.

Cooking and Freezing. From what I hear, when we get home we're going to be overwhelmed. For one thing, jet lag will have us exhausted for a couple of weeks making it difficult to get enough done in a day. I'm taking the advice of many of those been-there-done-that mamas and freezing some meals before we go. I've already started making a bit extra of some things that freeze well, but after school is done I plan to get serious about this.

Having conversations. We know that our current kids are excited about adopting. However, there are so many variables that they cannot possible know what to expect. They need to be prepared for many possibilities. So Dad and Mom are trying to inform them, one conversation at a time, of how life will change once we return from China.

When I first started this post, I only had a couple points. I have surprised myself at how many things we are able to focus on as we're preparing to grow our family. Though at times we get tired of the many days of waiting we must endure, this has been a good reminder for me of the Lord's perfect timing. He knew 6 months ago when we began this process that we would need this time to get things ready. When I begin to feel like we are wasting time waiting, it is good to remember that this time can be profitable after all!